The Five Love Styles of Wade Wilson
by ABoxFullOfSharpObjects
Summary: Because six is too many and four's not enough. Shameless Deadpool/Storm.
1. Silly

**Author's Note**: I almost feel bad. The only reason I wrote this is because I wanted more Deadpool/Storm, and Paper Planes' side project is just taking too long. That's my only excuse and I'm runnin' with it.

This is a little series of five shots. (Well, actually they're smaller than shots. At least one is, I -know-. What is that called anyway? A mini-shot? Shot and a half? Drabble and three quarters? Shot with a twist of lime? Moving on...)

I got to thinking about the pairing itself, specifically on Wade's side. Wade Wilson is A LOT of things. But what he isn't, is normal. And where one person would have one love style, maybe two. Well. Wade has five.

And as with any new relationship, there are learning curves. Luckily, Stormy's rollin' with the punches.

* * *

**Silly**

" This has never happened to me before, I swear."

In her time as a new American teenager and young adult, Ororo Munroe had read a lot of romance novels. Some, she knew were just too ridiculous to be even remotely true. With their flowery language and absurd euphemisms. Then you had those that were just right. The man was honest enough and real enough, the female was awkward and/or confident enough. It all ended up being just sweet.

She never pictured herself as dating a man and having their intimate encounters being something in the way of rose petals on the bed sheets, or candles lit all around the bathtub. It was a nice fantasy but sort of impractical. After all, somebody had to clean that up later on.

In fact, anything she had ever pictured when it came to relationships had to be severely reconstructed when she decided to get involved with Wade T. Wilson.

The Weather Goddess shook her hair out for what felt like the fourth time. " How does that just happen?"

" Sometimes, I get really excited and it just...goes off. I am so sorry, 'Ro." Deadpool tried really hard not to look down at his offending waist. " You didn't get any on you, did you?"

" Just in my hair, but I think it is all gone now. That's the wonder of summoning your own showers, you know."

Somehow, the Merc With a Mouth managed to look completely remorseful while his face was completely covered. He kept his head down as if he were expecting the sky to open up and end him at any moment. " I really am sorry."

" Wade," He almost flinched at her contact on his arm. Almost. " I am not upset. I imagine this kind of thing is somewhat normal among heroes and the like. All things considered, I'm surprised it hasn't happened earlier."

Deadpool huffed. " Well you never put your hands down there earlier. You don't know what you do to me, woman. Even now, after this series of unfortunate events, well aware that you might want to blast me to Eureka's Castle, I still want to just...uh...you know, do things."

" Well, what are you waiting for?" She was giving him _that_ smile. The one that made him trip on shoelaces he wasn't wearing. The one that gave his well-trained and enhanced senses tunnel vision. The one that could make him, the Merc with a Mouth, speechless.

" You mean...you still...want to?" _Say yes, say yes. Big money, big money! No whammy, no whammy! _

Ororo gave him an answer in the form of crawling atop his body. Her hair a white curtain over them as she looked down at him. " Of course I do. But."

_Dammit! Just when you're about to get what you want, there's always somebody's big butt in the way! Rassum frassum..._ "But...?"

She couldn't fight it anymore. A smile broke over her features and she lifted a hand to tap his belt. " Please deactivate your teleportation belt beforehand. The first trip was bad enough with just algae in my hair. Next time, we might end up some place decidedly less secluded than Central Park's Lake at 2am."


	2. First Time

**Author's Note:** Wade finds the stairs, and mild head trauma is suffered.

* * *

**First Time**

" Ow!"

" Careful. There is a step there."

" Gee, I hadn't noticed."

Why did 'firsts' have to be so painfully_ first_? No prior experience to help you out. No already-made-friends to keep you from doing awkward things. No established protocol for you to subconsciously adhere to while thinking about other things.

No. If it's the first time, then you're going to notice nothing you do right and everything you do wrong. All attempts at grace, cool and smoothness will fail. The better you are normally, the harder you fall.

For sex, this is magnified. For sex with Deadpool, it's so close you can feel it breathing on you.

Ororo frowned as her hands rested at his still-covered waist." How does this come off? Do you paint it on? It is awful tight."

" It's better than four-wall protection!" Only Deadpool would be able to continue babbling while unhooking her bra strap, without looking, and with one hand. " I have sensitive skin you know. I bruise like a grape and burn like an Irishman. It's not pretty, let me tell yo–"

An impatient press of hips derailed him. " Wade."

" You have grab it from here and tug up." His hands guided hers into the removal of his costume.

The rest of disrobing was decidedly less that of a storybook romance. ("No, no, you have to squeeze it on the sides. That's the teleport butt–Well Jesus, don't _push_ it woman. I do _not_ want to end up back in Kansas, buck naked in a chicken coop. Again.") You can, after all, only find so many hidden weapons on the human body before you start to wonder about that person's safety, and/or mental state. ("Do you really need to keep a knife _there_? Seems quite risky.") There was even something blinking a little red light that Wade had to remove himself.

" All this time I thought your suit was padded. What a pleasant surprise." A smile quirked at the blue-eyed mutant's lips as she regarded him.

Wade totally flexed for her. " It's all muscle and all me bab–What do you mean, you thought it was padded?! Your outfit is just as tight as mine! (I know, I've been looking.) How does yours come off?!"

Amused, she gestured to her back. " There is a zipper in the back. I'll show you sometime."

" I'll show you something right now." That was all the warning she got before they both became thoroughly sidetracked by his mouth on her breasts.

Ororo was completely nude long before Wade joined her however. And even then, he still had his mask on; pushed up though it was. His body language was tense, while his speech was just as cheerful. He'd hesitated to put his bare hands on her hips at first but made sure to keep her distracted. And while her hands ran idly over his chest and back, he would stiffen again every time her hands got close to his neck.

He knew he was doing it, and he knew that Ororo noticed it acutely no matter how talented his hands were. It wasn't like she hadn't seen what he looked like before this. But he still couldn't stop it. The longer she explored him, the less comfortable he felt with himself. What if his face totally ruined the mood? What if she closed her eyes, laid back and thought of England instead of him? What if Roseanne went on for another season?

It usually took a lot for Wade Wilson to get seriously annoyed. Even moreso when he was getting annoyed at himself. But dammit, now he was facing the prospect of ruining good sex with a totally willing goddess woman. Here was Ororo Munroe, topless and bottomless before him, and instead of gawking and grabbing at her, he was almost talking himself out of the whole thing altogether. And that just could not happen. Who knew when he'd get laid again? Huffing, he tugged her closer and resolved to do something about it. " You can take it off if you want." Oh, that's telling her, Wilson.

The Weather Witch regarded him carefully, stilling her hands. " Are you sure?"

" Yes." _No. _

So those gentle hands came up again. This time, Wade did not flinch or recoil. Even as her fingertips settled just under the edge of the mask. No, dammit, he would be still and he would face this no matter what. Get it? 'Face' this because–Ah, you don't know what's funny.

Any minute, he expected to feel the rush of air that always came with de-masking. But her hands never moved up and the air didn't come. Instead, he felt what was beginning to be usual pressure against his mouth, through his mask, that was Ororo kissing him. Wade blinked.

" It is okay, Wade." He didn't ask what specifically, and she didn't elaborate. But all over his body muscles decided to chill out. Then she was smiling at him; leaning back while both of her hands tugged him down atop her body.

And dammit, he wasn't going to let himself get sidetracked again.

_Thump! _

Until he smacked his head into her headboard that is. " $#%!"

" Oh! Goddess, Wade, are you all right?" She was leaning up immediately with worry all over her face.

" Yeah, yeah. No, it's fine. I'm fine." He kept her down with one hand, holding his head with the other. And through that one eye he had open, he saw how dumb he'd been in the reflection of himself in her concerned blue ones. " I didn't need those brain cells anyway. Good thing all the blood is gone up there..."


	3. Trust

**Author's Note:** On the one hand, I'd like to blame my dysfunctional inspiration for this delay. On the other, life got in the way. Summer trip and moving into a new apartment'll do that, I suppose. I was surprised how difficult it was to write this type of scene with our dear Deadpool. I mean, really. There were just times that he _would not_ cooperate...(rant, rant.)

Anyway, finished product. If it's lacking, I blame no one, or nothing but myself.

* * *

**Trust**

_Deadpool sings the Song of Storms_

Wade had fantasized greatly about what sex with a goddess would be like. Storm was among his "special" favorites when Cinemax just disappointed him. Lots of X-Women were in his "special" favorites though. And Avenger women and X-Force women and Brotherhood women, the list was only limited by his imagination. And he had a massive one of those.

But never in his limitless imagination, had he ever thought that he would have the Weather Witch, the X-Men co-leader, the Ice Queen and/or Earth Mother, Ororo Munroe, naked, _willing _and handcuffed on a bed. He didn't even put the picture together when she greeted him at the door with said cuffs dangling from a finger. The initial thought had been that he'd just left them out somewhere.

Now, of course, there were other things on his mind.

" Don't break, don't break my heart..." She was writhing now, as much as her bondage would allow. His bare hands scaled her sides, then settled at her hips. Completely unmasked, his mouth was free to sample her offered throat. " And I won't break your heart-shaped glasses..."

" Hn...Wade..." There was a flash of lightning outside the window, illuminating their bodies in the dark. Her hair practically glowed when she tossed it. Full, lower lip was held between teeth as she looked to the window with white eyes; stilling her movement. This only lasted a little under a second, as Wade gripped her hips and bucked. " Mmph!"

" Hey, little girl, little girl." His breathless words captured her attentions swiftly, and the weather outside calmed down minutely as a result. Every once and a while he would brush against the cold metal keeping her wrists behind her back. Especially with Ororo arching it like that, from him thrusting just right.

She needed this, needed them to be together like this. So many years of controlling herself through sheer will could not so easily let go. No matter how desperately she wanted to. Even now, she monitored her noises, her movements, glancing at the window every then and again.

That just meant he'd have to use a blindfold next time.

A hand reached up to brush over her now clear eyes. " You should close your eyes. That blue is getting me high..." That same hand continued back towards her ivory mane. It tangled there, before tugging sharply backwards at the same time as a particularly punishing thrust. Ororo made a sound somewhere between a sob and a sharp cry.

She knew herself well enough. The choice between her own pursuits and her control was no choice to make at all. So she simply took the decision out of her own hands.

Wade had been all too happy to oblige her too. (" Sister, you'll be too busy screaming to _think_ period, let alone about the weather.") True to form, she'd made no small amount of noises so far. But no scream.

The mercenary gave her one more thrust, then simply held his position, and as a result, her's too. Only grinding their hips together, it was a far cry from what they were first doing. Ororo realized this and began squirming, looking down at him in confusion.

" You know the rules, Stormfront. That sky's my business now. Your business is down here." He bucked with almost enough power to throw her off. " But. You don't get to fly away 'til those rainclouds do." His head bent, brushing his mouth to her collarbone. " You don't even get to turn on the shower in the bathroom 'til I say, got it?" He punctuated his order with a sharp bite.

A keening noise in her throat was his answer. Her body was so alive with pleasure and sensation. It would not be long before she'd crash through that glass ceiling and into the abyss. The chain between the cuffs clinked as she struggled. He bit her three more times before she could focus enough to make the clouds move on their way.

Wade waited until he could see the moon without obstruction. He looked, and she did not. In fact, her eyes were half-lidded and looking to him. Ororo was quite a sight, hair splayed out around her head on the plum colored pillows. Bite marks on her neck and shoulders. Flush-faced and panting as she gazed up. Satisfied, somewhat at least, Wade pushed her off his lap to lay on her back. One hand kept him braced near her head, while the other gripped the underside of her thigh. " Say it."

Ororo arched, locking her legs around him. " Zbornak–Ooh!" Her teeth rattled with his force this time. " S-St. Olaf...!" Her shoulder kept smacking into the headboard but she absolutely did not care as long as he kept moving. " Picture it!"

He sounded a lot less like a man and more like an animal when he pressed her clit mercilessly and issued a final command: " Storm."

The resounding thunder that burst from the suddenly pregnant sky covered up her cries. And whatever he had been about to say afterward was sufficiently muffled by the ballgag she shoved in his mouth; one cuff still dangling from her wrist.

" Your turn."


	4. Weapon X

**Author's Note:** I confess. This has been sitting on my computer since right after starting this endeavor. But now it's time, and I present it to you finished.

Again, if there's anything wrong with it, likely due to time away from the whole project, it's my fault.

* * *

**Weapon X**

_Wade does in fact dream in color. He also dreams in letters._

She'd known he'd had another nightmare from the way she stirred awake. It was almost always in the middle of the night. His arms were around her tightly; as tight as possible without actually causing her harm. His breathing wasn't even, indicative of sleep. It was shallow, just one step before panting.

Face buried in the crook of her neck, he was covered in sweat. And something warm, but liquid touched her throat that she knew was not sweat or drool.

He'd bitten his tongue again. Maybe even through completely.

Weapon X.

There was nothing to be said that would help. At least, not with words.

_I'm here. _One of her hands found his shoulder as she shifted just enough to bring her lips in contact with a mouth covered by the mask he had not worn to bed.

That bit of contact spurred him to life. The arms that were holding her so tightly initially released, but only to push her over onto her back. He did not settle between her unresisting legs so much as push himself between them.

Her eyes fell shut when he thumbed his mask up just enough to free his mouth. Likely one of the fastest mouths in the world, and he said nothing. Instead he sunk his teeth into her shoulder, the same one he bled on, and yanked her hips against his. She could feel him hardening while his teeth found first her collarbone, then both breasts.

Her soft, appreciative sounds filled the room while he remained silent. Silent, but certainly not idle. A couple more bites joined the first between her neck and shoulder. One of his hands had moved from beside her body to working a single digit first, then two in and out; not too fast and not too slow.

Despite her presence of mind fading out under lust, Ororo still found it in her to smile. Even when he thought he was taking advantage of her, he was being considerate. She'd felt his hardness prominently. And patience was a virtue that came and went with the mercenary named Deadpool. Yet, he buried his face in her neck again, keeping up his busy hand but nothing else.

She knew why, and she would not let him, could not let him fight alone. Teeth biting into her lower lip to keep focus, her body shifted under him. Both legs bent up at the knee, her heels pressing into his lower back; capturing him with her body.

Wade grunted, removed his hand and reoriented himself. That was it, just quiet participation. No witty remarks, or lewd comments to make her want to scold him and kiss him at the same time. Just a slow nudging at first, one or two shallow thrusts, and then...

" A-aah! Wade...!"

His pace was not gentle. That was okay though, the harder he threw himself into her, the harder he was hanging on. As evident by the ten little bruises she would have, always had around her hips in the morning. He would be sorry, and swear never again. She would call him ridiculous and tell him to go back to sleep.

If not for that healing factor, he would bear scars from the night as well. Her side of the battle in holding onto him. Her legs remained locked around his waist. Her nails scored his back in the way she knew he liked, occasionally throwing off his rhythm when he arched.

" Wade..." _Don't go. Stay with me. _His name was a breathless prayer. For him to never stop moving, never stop loving, never give up, never stop trying to move forward without looking back and staring at what he could not fix.

Faster and harder, he fucked through his memories to get to her. His father, the military, Weapon X, Wolverine, Sabertooth, Typhoid Mary, T-Ray, LL&L, Killbrew, Black Tom Cassidy, Siryn and Copyca–No. They didn't belong in that pile. But they didn't belong at the forefront his mind either. That place was very taken.

" ...'Roro." If he wasn't so close to her ear, she would have missed it. But instead, her hold shifted and she pulled to anchor him with her mouth. It only lasted a few more thrusts before she whimpered and broke contact with her orgasm taking her breath away.

Her nethers were twitching warmly from in afterglow when his own climax crashed over him. Wade tensed and let out a bark of a cry before his muscles began to gave out. He had the presence of mind to lower himself onto her frame ahead of going completely boneless though.

Ororo blew cool air on her hands before rubbing them on his back. There was nowhere to go but up now. " Where are you, Wade?"

It was probably just force of habit that his mouth was able to move when the rest of him wasn't. " Here. Right now. With you, Oreo." He wasn't panting anymore, and that damn healing factor was teasing her still sensitive folds. " Making you say my name where I know Wolvie can hear it."

She laughed and swatted him, even though it was probably true. He grinned in response.

Logan would be extra grumpy the next day. But Wade would be just fine.


End file.
